Humour

Nominations for Next Mayor of Hamilton

By Dave Kuruc
Published March 12, 2009

This is a list to which I hope you will contribute. So far it includes contributions from a few people I already emailed.

  1. Lister Block
  2. Coyotes
  3. The woman in the scooter who sells hugs
  4. Matt Jelly
  5. CH Weather Girl
  6. Tonto Little Man (he's that tiny pony that rides around town)
  7. Murdock from the A Team
  8. Ron Foxcroft
  9. A bag of Fox40 whistles
  10. The statue of Sir John A. MacDonald in Gore Park
  11. A super-human genetic combo of Jack MacDonald, Bob Morrow and Larry Di Ianni
  12. The Professor (beard, trench coat, walks down the middle of the street)
  13. The charging jousters on the Birks Clock
  14. The statue of Queen Victoria ("A model wife and mother")
  15. Michael Baldasaro (duh!)
  16. The empty parking lot where HMP used to be
  17. A consortium of plywood covered windows
  18. A pile of Tim Hortons cups and cigarette butts

Dave Kuruc is co-owner of Mixed Media, an art shop on James North. He is also publisher of H Magazine, a monthly magazine dedicated to celebrating Hamilton's beauty and charm.

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By funwithpolitics (anonymous) | Posted March 12, 2009 at 13:01:59


- Terry Whitehead's hair (piece)
- A new form of creature that came from the Harbour
- The ghost of Ivor Wynne
- Sergio Manchia

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By impressed (anonymous) | Posted March 12, 2009 at 13:03:47


So far that list of potential mayors could easily do more that our last three mayors combined.

Reach, dream, rise and shine Hamilton!

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By impressed (anonymous) | Posted March 12, 2009 at 13:07:40


So far that list of potential mayors could easily do more that our last three mayors combined.

Reach, dream, rise and shine Hamilton!

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By Jelly (anonymous) | Posted March 12, 2009 at 13:14:24

(22) Raven1.net lady
(23) Unidread (You know who I'm talking about)
(24) A corned beef sandwich from Reardons on an Onion Bun with Keen's Prepared Mustard.
(25) Chester and his Beers of The World
(26) Dave Mitchell (he would suck at the job but COWBOY MAYOR!)
(27) The entire staff of Mex-i-can (Dream Team)
(28) Drunk Farmer's Market Santa

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By highwater (registered) | Posted March 12, 2009 at 13:31:48

  1. Chris Ecklund's Mercedes
  2. Recumbent Guy (The guy who rides the homemade recumbent bike around town.)
  3. carp (bonus - if they flush the local economy down the toilet, we can eat 'em!)

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By So True (anonymous) | Posted March 12, 2009 at 13:36:10

- The Hamilton Super-Fan (whatever happened to that guy? (Shorts n a radio 365 days/yr)
- That Wheelchair Guy who only goes backwards
- RYAN MCGREAL ! ! !
- Harry Stinson ????

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By Robert D (anonymous) | Posted March 12, 2009 at 13:40:55

29) A Smith
30) The former Gore Park Reindeer
31) Peter George
32) Harry Stinson
33) The tour guides from Haunted Hamilton ruling as an Oligopoly.

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By Randy Reefer (anonymous) | Posted March 12, 2009 at 14:17:29

- The guy who always asks me for bus money so he can get back to Toronto
- Ginger St. James (seriously!)
- My pet rock
- Ed Grimley (played by Hamiltonian Martin Short)
- Sam Merulla's IQ

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By So True (anonymous) | Posted March 12, 2009 at 14:18:16

- The Hamilton Super-Fan (whatever happened to that guy? (Shorts n a radio 365 days/yr)
- That Wheelchair Guy who only goes backwards
- RYAN MCGREAL ! ! !
- Harry Stinson ????

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By avonhamilton (registered) - website | Posted March 12, 2009 at 14:58:23

  • Barrak Obama, bring us change baby!
  • Don Cherry, rock em, sock em!
  • the tag team of Dan McLean and Connie Smith

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By ooh ooh (anonymous) | Posted March 12, 2009 at 15:05:04


David Braley in a Stadium Hat

The homes For Rent around Mohawk College

Auchmar

King St. south of Gore Park

City Hall

The injured worker crucified at Bay & Main

An HSR bus
vs
An HSR light rail car

Everyone who ever thought her/himself a Community Leader

na na na na na na na na BRATMAN!

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By double digit (anonymous) | Posted March 12, 2009 at 16:25:10

DENNINGERS DELI ..they know how to run a business

The crowd who want bicycle paths on MAIN STREET

The guys who bailed "OUT STELCO"

The Labourers Union who run the city now

Henry Merling and Dave Wilson from the past who took six weeks to make a two minute decision.

But for serious contenders find the old ladies from the defunct Knitting Mills, they made Hamilton WORK.

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By jason (registered) | Posted March 12, 2009 at 16:44:38

This is hilarious.

I especially love "The Hamilton Super Fan". LOL. That guy rocks! And that 'Drunk Farmers Market Santa'. I still can't believe I let my kids near that nutjob!!! haha.

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By Moseby (registered) | Posted March 12, 2009 at 19:45:53

  • that statue where the guy is hanging from a wall with no head.

  • anyone who can accomplish every Hamiltonian's ultimate dream..... to build a giant slide down the side of the Mountain.

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By not impressed (anonymous) | Posted March 12, 2009 at 22:06:59

Instead of screwing around and waiting for the next election so we can try to vote out someone instead of voting for someone, why don't people here actually try to come up with people in Hamilton that people could actually vote for?

poking fun and making stupid lists does nothing to change things.

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By J. Swift (anonymous) | Posted March 12, 2009 at 22:24:24

1. Lyin McGetreal
2. WWJD...What Would Jason Do?
3. The unused half of Fred's Brain.
4. Nicole I'msotyred
5. Andrew Smurfchel
6. Matt Jelly's Hookah
7. Grassboots
8. Evelyn Dyck
9. Alfred E. Christopherson
10.Morteza Bringmeyourpoor
11.The NDP Caucus
12.Dalton McGuilty
13.Lloyd I'mnotMurrayson
14.Bernie Morality
15.Sammy Stadium
16.Boob Bragina
17.Andrea Blowrvath
18.Laura Bangkok
19.Bill and Donna S. Kelly
20.John IusedtobeaTory

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By H Mag (anonymous) | Posted March 12, 2009 at 22:52:54


Notimpressed said: "Instead of screwing around and waiting for the next election so we can try to vote out someone instead of voting for someone, why don't people here actually try to come up with people in Hamilton that people could actually vote for?

poking fun and making stupid lists does nothing to change things."

Boy - folks in this town have no sense of humour. What we're trying to say with this exercise is - we can do a whole lot better in council than the current clowns.

Come out to the Guelph Civic League talk on the 19th to find out how we can realistically mount a campaign to find the right candidates. Until then - have fun with this posting...we're obviously not gonna change the ways of city council right now...but we can build to something better for Nov. 2010

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By A Robot (anonymous) | Posted March 12, 2009 at 23:34:59

All the downtown scooters in a voltron formation

That robot guy in the caroline st tim's

Bronco Barosa (aka God)

The little bearded guy killing it on the road bike

All the #2 Barton buses in a voltron formation

My gold boxes (shameless...)

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By UrbanRenaissance (registered) | Posted March 13, 2009 at 08:50:44

How about flar from the skyscraper city boards? We could put him in charge of tourism.

Though anything in a voltron style configuration would also get my vote.

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By J. Swift (anonymous) | Posted March 13, 2009 at 09:15:01

21. Terry Blabberhead
22. H.Rag
23. Raise the Syckle
24. Bad Clarke
25. Gin Collins
26. GoDown in Waterdown Maggie
27. NeverSayHairDye Jackson
28. SCRATCH
29. Durand Durand
30. Mr. Potato Head
31. In-the-CanWest
32. Mr. Brown Field
33. Ms. Ayre Tropolis
34. HMCS Haida
35. Joe MachineKelly
36. The Royal Cannot
37. Wild Wild Westdale
38. Paleface McHatty
39. Piggy Passuta
40. The Percolator

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By highwater (registered) | Posted March 13, 2009 at 11:41:07

How about flar from the skyscraper city boards? We could put him in charge of tourism.

If it were up to me, I'd put him in charge of the known universe.

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By lowrider (anonymous) | Posted March 13, 2009 at 12:09:13

@highwater - except that if you piss him off he'll ban you. not what we want from our leaders i think.

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[ - ]

By Pokey (anonymous) | Posted March 13, 2009 at 19:11:17

1) The elderly couple who sell apples at the farmer's market.
2) The gore park pigeons, in Voltron formation!
3) Sir Allan McNab's reanimated corpse.
4) Michael G. DeGroote
5) Vrancor *shudders in fear*

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By Jelly (anonymous) | Posted March 14, 2009 at 08:41:48

Paul W. DiIanni

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By MattM (registered) | Posted March 17, 2009 at 03:09:41

  • A slice of National Pizza
  • Tivoli Theatre
  • That kid that hangs around in front of Jackson Square and contorts his body
  • Jackson Square LCBO
  • The burned out remains of the Mark Preece building
  • The stretch of Ferguson in front of the Wesley Centre
  • Barton Street
  • That guy that picks up cigarette butts downtown and at Eastgate Sq. and carries them in a bag
  • Tony Battaglia
  • Joe Mancinelli
  • ???
  • Profit

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By fender_86er (registered) | Posted March 18, 2009 at 09:45:45

LOOOL I saw the cigarette guy.. Not to sure about the kid who can contort his body.

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By Dave Kuruc the Moron (anonymous) | Posted December 02, 2010 at 16:20:52

My name is Dave Kuruc and I think I am so witty and humorous therefore I am! Wtf. Keep selling crayons clown.

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