Raise the Hammer

Doreen, these topics need much more coverage in our local media and I have certainly slacked in being part of this discussion. Our family court system is a failure in so many ways. Everyday I hear very disturbing accounts of what parents who are separating are going through.

I do want to correct something in your first paragraph however because it's something our mediator put in our agreement and it's false and I have been bound by it for two years now.

The last sentance in the first paragraph should read something like:

The amount collected is based on the number of children being supported and the payor's (or both if access to the children for the payor is 40% or more) income.

It's an important line item to keep in mind for those going through a separation now as the court systems are finally looking at recognizing a default 50/50 access schedule instead of the past defacto every other weekend and a visit during the week. More and more families are recognizing the importance of this on their own outside of court but where this isn't mutual, many great dad's are being denied important access in the best interest of their children.

Should you seek a petition or other means to pursue what you are asking for above, I would support you 100%. What you have dealt with in court should be dealt with outside of court for minimal costs. I too have done much of this on my own as I could not afford a lawyer. It is a lot of work but is doable.

Payments have been put in place to ensure both parents are able to provide for their children equally while the children are in their care. Obviously there are parents out their abusing the payment system on both sides and it's absolutely disgusting that something like what you have described above is allowed to cost you anything.

Abusive ex situations need to come to a halt. You should be able to sue for court costs and it shouldn't even be something you should have to initiate. The judge should realize what your ex is doing and demand he re-imburse you for time and costs. It's right there in your agreement and if he wants to mess around, somebody at a higher level needs to step back for a second and think of how this in a round about way, is affecting the kids. By abusing you, he is abusing them because one can only be so strong and hide so much from the kids.

Thank you for sharing something so personal. By sharing stories like this, other's can feel like they are not alone and together, we can create the change that is needed in the system.

I envy those couples that maturely realize they were merely different and needed to go their separate ways, put together an agreement on their own and quite often I hear them not even asking for any money back and forth except for schedule 7 expenses. These are also the parents who realize that 50/50 or close to it depending on their schedules, is what's best for the children for so many reasons if they can be civil and have great communication between households.

Comment edited by lawrence on 2014-04-22 12:34:31