TV Love

A poem by Kevin Somers

By Kevin Somers
Jul. 5, 2006

Entertainment and Sports

From Gilligan's Island, came my first love
Beamed to me from Heaven above
Ginger and I, a perfect blend
But she broke my heart at season's end

The Brady Bunch, of course, had three
But the oldest was the one for me
Marcia drove me to the bend
But never replied to the letters I penned

I couldn't wait for Happy Days
I'd sit and watch with my eyes glazed
Joanie, so lovely, I'd often pretend
The tarty brunette was more than a friend

The Dukes of Hazard had a girl
Who took me right around the world
Daisy, my love, I can't comprehend
Why you never said thanks for the things that I'd send

I almost fell for The Simpson's mother
Her beauty unlike any other
Marge, alas, I know now what I didn't know then
This isn't real love; it's simply a trend

Kevin Somers is the author of a satire, I'm Gretzky, You're Gretzky (find it here). He is the editor of The Hobo Line, a magazine by and for Fred Heads. He also writes about fashion for The Women's Post.

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