In My Opinion

Everyone has an opinion. In my opinion, most aren't worth hearing, but a few are worth sharing.

By Kevin Somers
Dec. 13, 2006

Entertainment and Sports

I think there are too many civil servants and politicians in this country. It's like Communist Russia. In my opinion, the Canadian empire will choke on its bureaucracy. With our wagon hitched firmly to America, an empire toppling under the Grand Old Party's unwinnable war and cockeyed schemes, we're doomed anyway.

I could be wrong, of course. It's only an opinion.

People are being doused with kerosene and burned alive in Iraq. If George Bush sleeps as peacefully as he claims, my opinion of him just got worse.

Enough people voted for Bush in 2000 that he was able to steal the election from vice president and seemingly great guy Al Gore. Americans who boast endlessly of their democracy should be better at it, in my opinion.

Their current vice president avoided combat like the plague but likes to shoot addled animals and old men. Meanwhile, his former employer Halliburton is milking and bilking millions and billions from the war that is turning Iraq into Hell and Halliburton's Houston Headquarters into a palace Saddam would envy.

In my opinion, Dick and Dubya should be in prison suits, not presidential suites.

The Liberals, Canada's Grand Old Party, have a lot of explaining to do too, in my opinion. Jane Stewart ran Human Resources Development Canada while billions of dollars and thousands of SIN cards vanished. Like the jailbirds from WorldCom and Enron, Jane claimed ignorance of the crimes on her watch.

Jane Stewart is now making $1300 a day in Caledonia's land claims industry. Stewart should be at a different government institution earning 50 cents a day making license plates. In my opinion.

In my opinion, Mrs. and Mr. Clarkson had no right to take their buddies on a multi-million dollar trip when there are so many domestic problems that need funding. The money they used could have built a school, clinic, or recreaction center in the north end of Hamilton, or a water filtration system on a reserve.

It would have done a lot more good, I opine, than their luxury cruise for a few select pals.

In my opinion, it's time for a Canadian revolution: quiet and peaceful.

Ontario should be a country, in my opinion. Ironically, everywhere else in Canada, people identify themselves by region first (Maritimer, Quebecer, Islander, Westerner). Wouldn't it be funny if Ontarians were the first to go?

Quebec can have Ottawa along with the federal politicians and public servants as a parting gift. Au revoir. Bon chance.

When Alberta's oil crazy, quick-buck groundhogs run out of gas, we'll still have plenty of water, wind, and woods, if we do it right. We'll have to put a big firewall around The Independent Republic of Ontario to keep people out.

That's my opinion, but I got the idea from Prime Minister and hockey buff Stevie Harper.

According to Ontario Auditor General Jim McCarter, there are a lot of big spenders in the public service. The Independent Republic of Ontario will fire those people. Taxpayer funded extravagance is theft, in my opinion.

The shopoholics in education and Children's Aid are particularly offside when you consider who they're stealing from. If public employees had to spend their own money, they'd be quickly cured of consumption. That's not an opinion, that's fact.

The people of Hamilton made a good choice on Election Day, in my opinion. Good luck, Fred.

I wouldn't have an opinion on governments and politics if things were done well and I didn't pay so much tax. I'd rather work, hang out with my kids, watch TV, and not think about it. Unfortunately, layers of bureaucracy take more than half of my income and there's bad news on every channel.

So, optimistically, I share my opinions and hope for change.

Kevin Somers is the author of a satire, I'm Gretzky, You're Gretzky (find it here). He is the editor of The Hobo Line, a magazine by and for Fred Heads. He also writes about fashion for The Women's Post.

Discuss this Article

Read Comments

By dearmayorfred
Posted 1/5/2007 1:15:35 AM

I just got my 1st piece of correspondense from our new mayor's office, & to be quite honest, it scared the wits out of me.
A list of objectives, aims, etc, but no actual discussion or mention of what i had enquired about..? Let's hope it get's better & the starch washes out a bit.

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