Comment 36263

By Jabberwocky (anonymous) | Posted December 13, 2009 at 13:49:53

With Apologies to Dr. Seuss, I think Mr. Kwan deserves a poem inspired by his heroic acts. If I’m wrong about him, I will be the first to apologize. (Note: all characters are fictitious. Any resemblance to real life people is strictly coincidental.)

You’re A Mean One, Mr. Kwan

You’re a mean one, Mr. Kwan
You really are a heel
You’re as cuddly as our sludge,
You’re as charming as our steel,
Mr. Kwan

You’re bad karma
For our town.

You’re a monster, Mr. Kwan
Your heart is full of waste
Your brain is water-logged
Your buds have lost their taste,
Mr. Kwan

I would smear you with
thirty-nine-and-a-half feet of Woodward paste.

You’re a vile one, Mr. Kwan.
You have daggers in your smile
You have all the icky slickness
Of putrid, smelly bile.
Mr. Kwan.

Given the choice of who to be with
I’d pick the putrid, smelly bile.

You’re a foul one, Mr. Kwan.
You’re ready to apologize
With veneer that’s so sublime
While you bow and demonize,
Spewing out self-serving slime.
Mr. Kwan.

The three words that best describe you,
Are whine, whine, whine.

You’re a rotter, Mr. Kwan.
You’re the king of cheapest shots.
Your heart’s a biosolid
Stinky, mouldy and quite squalid,
Mr. Kwan.

Your soul is a wet-well chock-filled
With every ugly solid
Deserving to be flushed.

You nauseate me, Mr. Kwan.
With a sickening mish and mash.
You’re a seething ex-employee
Out to get your pound of flesh
Mr. Kwan.

You’re a three decker stool sandwich.
With lead sauce from Lyndentown.

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