You know where those downtown elites can stick their fancy-pants math. Doug Ford always keeps his promises and he never flip-flops.
By Kevin Love
Published June 18, 2018
Folks, we've won the election! So now it is time to start governing Ontario and remaking it in our image. Some people think that it will be hard to carry out my election promises. Some people think it will be hard to cut $10 billion in taxes while not cutting any government employees or programs and at the same time eliminating the deficit and balancing the budget.
Some people think that it will be hard for me to find $6 billion in government "waste" that somehow magically eluded the Auditor General. But these things will not be hard to do. In fact, they will be easy. But it is important for every member of the Doug Ford team to deliver a consistent message.
So here it is, folks! How to cut $10 billion in taxes while not cutting any government employees or programs and at the same time eliminating the deficit and balancing the budget.
That's easy, folks! It may look like this requires repealing the laws of mathematics, but math is only for those elites with their fancy-pants educations. We only have to do two things at the same time. I've already set the example, as reported in The Toronto Star:
"I always keep my promises," said Ford. "We aren't going to flip-flop."
He added one caveat, however: "First of all, we have to look at the books."
See how easy it is! Once we form the government, all we do is say that once we looked at the books we were SHOCKED! And Surprised! Who could have ever thought that the previous Liberal government was so bad! Yes, the public accounts are all openly published and audited by the Auditor General. But if we never read them until now, we can be SHOCKED and SURPRISED!
Most important to keep in mind is this: While breaking our promises and flip-flopping, we simply insist that we always keep our promises and never flip-flop. Problem solved! And those downtown pinko elites thought that governing was hard. We'll show them!
How to find $6 billion in government waste that magically eluded the Auditor General: that's easy, folks! We will do it the same way that my brother and I successfully found $ 1 billion in waste when we ran the Toronto municipal government. Easy peasy!
As we successfully remold Ontario into Ford Nation, we will have enemies. Those downtown elites with all their "education" and "experience" just hate how an ordinary guy with no experience in provincial politics can show them up.
Those elites are just like some author, I wouldn't have a clue who she is, who fought against me when I was closing down government waste such as Toronto libraries. Books are just so 20th century. Now we have Twitter!
You must be logged in to comment.