Raise the Hammer

There is a reason that the city has standards for converting older single family dwellings into multi unit residential income properties. Its because most of the time the people that purchase these properties with the intent of becoming real estate tycoons have no frigging clue of what they are doing and their prime motivation is profit, not providing adequate housing to anyone.

I live in Ward 3, in maybe one of the poorest median income neighbourhoods in Canada. Originally it was not by choice. Three years in family court pursuing a custody fight consumed my life savings, created a mountain of debt, and put me in a situation where I was not able to be fussy where I purchased a home.

Thats said, right now I wouldn't move if I could. My street is quiet, there are no problems, most of the homes in the area are owned by people who have lived here for years with a few exceptions. One of those exceptions is the shit hole beside me. It is owned by a 30 something son of an immigrant from east asia who would make the worst dirt bags in Slum Dog Millionaire look like a great guy. His prime motivation is greed. He lives in Satellite City in Stoney Creek in the typical center hall 4 bedroom with the 3 car garage. He owns 8 rental properties in the lower city. Every single one of them is a bed bug infested rat hole bordering on condemnable. I have reasoned with him, pleaded with him, and outlined strategies whereby he could actually make this property more profitable by actually giving tenants a nice place to live. We are walking distance to the General Hospital and the new $178 million rehabilitation center. There are employed people who work there who would love to live within walking distance of work.

I have instead been left with the strategy of putting property standards, by law enforcement and the police on speed dial. I will if I have to, cost this doosh bag as much money as I can until he "gets it".

As a contractor, I have on numerous occasions turned down work from similar "entrepreneurs" who have wanted me to invariably "half ass" something so they could turn around a rat trap, fire trap, shit hole as fast as possible so as not to interupt their cash flow.

The principle of this article sounds like a noble one. It is however largely a work of fiction. Unfortunately the vast majority of income properties in Ward 3 at least are owned by suburban elitist faux "investors" whose only motivation is padding their bank account and maintaining their consumption based life style.

As a resident of Ward 3, a renovation specialist who works almost entirely in the old city and works on century homes, I have some advice for any of you who might be looking to "invest" down in "The Hood".

1. Never buy and rent out a place that you wouldn't be willing to live in yourself.

2. If you give people a shit hole to live in..... you are going to get shit hole tenants.

3. If you can't afford to purchase a prospective income property, convert it legally, maintain it, and pay the property taxes on a properly assessed income property..... YOU PROBABLY CAN'T AFFORD IT PERIOD. Buy RRSPs instead.

4. Don't pretend to have philanthropic intentions when you pursue something like this as a business enterprise. There is nothing wrong with making money. I am an avowed capitalist, and love making money. But if you can't do it ethically, responsibly, and honestly.....PISS OFF. We don't need your bull shyte or your money down here.

5. There are plenty of century cottages, story and a half single family homes that can be purchased, renovated, assessed, insured and rented (as single family dwellings) for between $900-$1300 a month. Again if you cannot manage this and still make money..... you shouldn't be in this business. Quit watching HGTV and getting ideas about being a real estate tycoon.

6. Real estate is a long term investment, unless you have a lot of capital and know the market, can turn around a property quickly, YOU ARE NOT GOING TO GET RICH FAST, particularly in the Hamilton market.